It's Going to be Wild

I’m in the middle of reading Chasing the Dragon. I know, I can’t believe I’ve waited this long either. That book has been an amazing encouragement to me, knowing I’m being sent into similar things. The thing is, I always think of Jackie Pullinger as a different kind of missionary than I am (and pretty much everyone in America). Sure, we’re all telling people about Christ, working through drugs, alcohol, homelessness, and poverty, but I’m not dealing with the sex trade or corruption or any of those other situations I don’t know how to deal with. And I was planning on NOT having to deal with that until I was sent. But the thing is, I AM sent, and this weekend, I felt it for the first time.

On Saturday, I got a call from a friend telling me about Jaimie. She was 17, had only moved to America from the Philippines a few months prior, and was living in a tiny apartment in San Diego with her mom, sister, and brother. On Friday, she called a friend back in the Philippines in hysterics, confiding that her uncle (who lives next door) had tried to rape her. It wasn’t the first time. This friend called another friend who was in America, who then called me, because she knew I was in California. I said I could be there by Monday.

I arrived at this precious girl’s apartment and her sister, brother, and cousins were all waiting for me with a pizza dinner. She said she had told her aunt I was from the Philippines, because she won’t let them be friends with anyone else (although I’m not sure how that worked, since I ‘m clearly quite white). Everyone was so excited to see me. They were amazed I had graduated college. I felt like I had entered another world. After we ate, Jaimie asked everyone to go in their bedroom (yes, that’s singular) and let us talk alone.

She poured her heart out to me in the best English she had, and somehow I understood everything. Her mom was back in the Philippines for ovarian surgery because it’s free there (I will never understand the “Christian” view of universal healthcare, but I’m not even going to go there), so she was staying with her aunt and uncle. She had no father, so her uncle had taken that place in her life. She looked up to him, respected him, and loved him. Which made what had happened to her all the more painful and confusing.

She shared about how she was so excited to come to America because that stuff isn’t supposed to happen here. Back home, her older sister had been close friends with a man Jaimie called only “authority.” I’m pretty sure that means he was a police officer. Jaimie often went along for the ride when her sister would meet up with this man and his friends, and would see them exchanging money, but never thought too much about it. Then one day, her sister told her to get out of the car and go with her. She saw the money exchange hands, and felt like something was off, but still didn’t understand. The “authority” then took her hand and pulled her into a room with him. She was crying, but he didn’t care. She said that was the day she lost her innocence.

She asked me why God was doing this to her, why He was mad at her, why would things like this happen if He existed. She had begun to lose her faith. I was in so far above my head I just kept telling the Lord He had to speak for me. And that’s what He did. We sat there talking, crying, and eventually laughing. Of course I invited her to come live with me, but she’s only 17 and can’t leave home because she contributes to the family income. We were getting deep into the conversation and I was about to pray for her, when her aunt burst through the door and yelled, “Fire!”

We ran outside and were rained on first by ash from the fire and then water dropped from a helicopter. We had to put our shirts over our mouths to breathe. We stood watching for a while, but then everyone had to go inside. Jaimie said goodbye and that she’d call me. I started walking back to my car, confused, trying to take everything in, but found I was blocked in by fire trucks, police cars, and firemen. So, I went toward the fire. I sat there watching it, breathing in the smell of the smoke, praying. I watched as the fire cut through brush like nothing, and was reminded of just how fragile and fleeting this life is. And I prayed.

And I’m still praying. I still don’t know what to make of everything. That’s why I’m posting this story- so you will pray for Jaimie. I don’t even know how to be more specific than that. We’ve been talking over the phone, and I’m heading down there again this weekend.

When God first asks us to choose this life, He doesn’t say it’s going to be easy, or always make sense, or not break our hearts. But He does say it’s going to be wild, and great, and full of Him. And that’s exactly what it is.

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." 2 Chronicles 20:12

"Come away with Me, come away with Me.
It's going to be wild, it's going to be great,
it's going to be full of Me."