It's Not Easy, But it is Glorious

I’m assuming that if you’re reading this, you know about my call to open my home to the homeless. After trying to take things into my own hands, then giving it up completely to the Lord, He has brought two girls into my home- as much as my little apartment can hold.

Oh, what a crazy adventure it has been. Sometimes I think of the life I used to have planned for myself, and can’t believe the difference.

This… is hard. Sometimes my house smells like people who haven’t showered in months, and I pray that they won’t see me gag. Sometimes we get 3 hours of sleep because when one person wakes up crying, we cry together. These girls have been through more in their lives than I can even comprehend. Sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent, because feeding and clothing and supporting three people is a lot more expensive than just one. Sometimes the house is so full that I lay down underneath my dining room table to pray in the mornings. Sometimes I wish I could have my old friends back, instead of spending every spare moment taking care of others. Sometimes I long for alone time. Sometimes I think I can’t handle this constant front-line battling. And always I am so aware of my inability to do anything without the supernatural strength of my Beloved. Who am I that God would entrust me with anything like this?

But then, there are the other times. The times when the Lord showers out so much love and blessings on me that I think I’m going to collapse. When I put on worship music to clean the house to and one of the girls starts crying because she is in the presence of the Lord. When one of them says “Oh, I’ve never seen an iPod,” and I look at all my posessions differently afterward. When they start talking to God mid-sentence. When their faces light up when I introduce them to a friend. When I come home from work and see them praying over each other. When we go to the park and feed the homeless, able to give because we have been given so much. When friends give me checks out of the blue, without even knowing why. When I curl their hair, or buy them a dress, or take them to dinner, and see a gratefulness on their faces I don’t even know if I’ve ever felt.

Sitting on the couch, we throw our heads back and laugh. We praise the Lord, we pray, we tell jokes, we try to speak in accents, we encourage, we are given words, and we laugh some more. I think about the fact that we have nothing in common, have trouble relating to each other on so many levels, and often don't even understand what each other are talking about, and thank the Lord He has chosen to brings us together. And the laughter outweighs the tears. This life- It is hard, but it is glorious. And there's no place I'd rather be.

For the first time, I understand first-hand what Eric Ludy means when he says that the devil offered him a deal. The things happening here are not without opposition. Will you come alongside us in battle? The war is raging for one of the girls’ souls. I can’t really explain, but she has until Monday to decide which side she will stand on. Please, pray with us.

Your Spirit Soars Me

I have come to the realization that I am awful at telling stories. So many amazing, God-glorifying things are happening here, but it’s so hard to elaborate on everything.

But there’s one thing that happened recently that is so close to my heart, I have to share it.

When I got back from Ellerslie last year, I moved in with six non-Christian girls, and squeezed into one tiny room with two of them. Not long after, the Lord began to take them both into a time of deep hardships, including addictions, families disowning them, serious depression, and a multitude of idols and false gods. By the grace of God, one of them saw the Lord through her trials, and accepted Christ. Her story is stirring, but this story is not about her. The other went about it another way- through medication, psychiatrists, and self-help books. Then came the dark night of the soul. She realized there was nothing she could do to change herself, and cried out for help. She didn’t know who she was calling to, just that she needed… something. She began coming to church with us, then asking us for prayer, then buying and reading the Bible. She asked question after question about Christianity, struggling with specific aspects of it. We knew what she needed- to experience the presence and love of God.

There was a major problem, though- she thought it was weird when we worshiped. When she came to church, she remained sitting while we sang, and was freaked out by everyone raising their hands or going to the carpets at the front to kneel. We showered her with love, prayers, and the knowledge of what it means to accept Christ, knowing the work had begun in her heart.

Then, one Sunday during closing worship, I felt the tap on my shoulder. She said, “I’m going up to get prayer… will you come with me?” I grabbed my other roommate, saw the same expression of expectancy on her face, and went to be prayed over. The woman asked her if she had accepted Christ and she answered that she was unsure whether she had or not. We got prayer for the Lord to move in her heart, that He would draw us closer together as sisters, and that He would use us to bring each other closer to Him.

As we began to head back to our seats, I caught a glimpse of an empty spot on the carpets, and asked if she wanted to stay and worship there. There was a moment of indecision and fear, and then she fell to her face on the ground. My other roommate and I kneeled behind her, crying, with one hand on her back and one hand to heaven, praying and singing,

“For I know you are faithful, My God.
For I know you are faithful, My God.
My hearts aches for you my God,
My soul waits for you my God,
I’ve come far to find you here
In this place will I draw near.”

I opened my eyes, and saw her with her hands raised to heaven, singing to the Lord with her entire voice. That’s when we all lost it, we could barely sing through our crying,

“And Your Spirit soars me
To the highest heights,
From where I’ll not look back, no
I’ll keep trusting you.”

The song ended, everyone began to leave, and we sat on the floor letting everything settle in our hearts. We were all thinking the same thing, so I said it out loud: “Do you want to pray to accept Christ?” She said she could not deny the change that was taking place in her anymore, knowing it was nothing she mustered up herself. My other roommate wanted MORE of Him. So we prayed. We sat there on those carpets praying, until most people were gone, asking for Jesus to reign in our hearts, for His Spirit to live and dwell inside us, for Him to empower us with His Holy Spirit so we could walk in the fullness of what He has for us, and for Him to draw us ever closer to Him.

We left church that day, and neither of those two were ever the same. If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed!

Luke 7:37-50

And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, ³⁸ and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. ³⁹ Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”
⁴⁰ And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
So he said, “Teacher, say it.”
⁴¹ “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴² And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”
⁴³ Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”
And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” ⁴⁴ Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. ⁴⁵ You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. ⁴⁶ You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. ⁴⁷ Therefore I say to you, her sins,which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
⁴⁸ Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
⁴⁹ And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
⁵⁰ Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”